Darty Szn Survival Guide

For those of you scratching your heads, a darty is simply a day party ➜ day + party = darty.

Every college student knows that spring semester is darty szn. Even if you are currently a college student and you have no idea what I am talking about, trust me you do. You know those Saturdays in the spring when you look out your window and you see a herd of girls wearing cut up Natural Light t-shirts with metallic skirts and rainbow dyed hair, covered in glitter walking towards a frat house full of guys in jorts (jean shorts) and jerseys. That my friends means it’s darty szn.

Here are some thoughts I had as I waltzed into my first spring darty (shoutout to Alex Messmore and ΣΧ Groundhog Day 2k18):

Why am I wearing all yellow? Is my crop top “croppy” enough? Do I actually know anyone here? Why is there hay covering half of the backyard? Should I have written “I  Machi” on my arm? Or on my face?? How come this house looks so much cooler at night? Is that a mechanical bull? Do I wanna be a cowboy baby? Am I living in a Vine? Should I be studying for my biology exam instead of partying right now?

These are all very valid questions at your first day party. The entire experience can be very overwhelming, so here are some helpful tips and tricks for the first-timer at a darty:

(1) Do NOT stress about what you are wearing

No one, I repeat no one, is wearing anything that makes sense. But definitely ask your friends what they are wearing so that your outfit at least makes sense to someone. The usual attire is some sort of metallic skirt/shorts or a cheer skirt paired with a graphic tee or a one-piece suit that says something cute. You can also go with the sassy cowgirl/redneck look and do a tied up flannel and cutoff jorts. Accessorize with obnoxious earrings, a spunky necklace (might I suggest a custom choker from Moodz & Vibez Designs) and clout glasses are a must. Pro Tip: wear rainboots or duck boots or cowboy boots, just don’t wear shoes that you care about. There will be mud even if it hasn’t rained in decades. Honestly, don’t wear anything of real value to you — at the end of the day you will be covered in beer, glitter, hay and potentially crawfish.

(2) Be prepared to eat (or at least pick up) a crawfish

Never ever ever in my lifetime would I have seen myself eating a crawfish, but then I moved to Mississippi. There is no need to watch a YouTube “How to Eat a Crawfish” video, but you may want to have some idea of what’s going on. If not, no worries, a local will gladly teach you. Even if you don’t want to eat one, pick one up off the table (if you can beat the crowd) and take a picture with your friends, trust me it is worth the Instagram.

(3) Stick with your girl squad

I walked up to that house as a strong, independent woman, but as soon as I was through the door I immediately ran to find my girls. Even if you don’t know a single soul who belongs to that fraternity, you can still have a ball of a time. I mean girls have more fun anyways, right? You will without a doubt run into at least a dozen people that you know. May I suggest never losing track of your OG girls. I know that those houses aren’t that big, but it feels like all of campus is standing in one spot and trust me you don’t want to get lost in a see of metallic skirts.

(4) Have a photoshoot

You are gonna wanna take a bajillion photos, and I say go for it girly! I’m talking large group shots, small group shots, everytime you see a sis take a photo, and don’t forget about the infamous solo shot. Now, I would not suggest bringing your big, expensive, fancy shmancy Canon or Nikon (remember the glitter and beer showers, yeah cameras don’t like those), but if that’s what your heart desires, be my guest. You are going to want to document this because I promise you, no two darties will ever be the same.

(5) Relax and have FUN!!

Spring darty szn only happens 4 times in your college career, so you might as well make the most of every chance you get. Remember that mechanical bull I questioned when I walked in, yeah I rode it and I loved every second of it. If you are worried about looking stupid, I mean you are already dressed like a clown/cowboy/pop star got dressed in the dark sooooo… That being said, still act like a reasonable human being. If your friends suggest that you don’t hang out of the second story window over the patio, I would listen to them. Have a ton of fun, just don’t end up on Old Row.

If you don’t get into every darty of the szn, your spring is not ruined I promise. But when you get the chance to go, I better see you there! So ladies and gents, grab those metallic skirts and cowboy boots and head on out. Remember hydrate or die-drate. May the odds be ever in your favor, stay cool my darty people.