Before college, I didn’t just do one thing. Obviously I danced, but I also participated in cheerleading and golf and academic honor societies and volunteer activities and campus ministry and student government. If you couldn’t find me during lunch, there’s a 4/5 chance I was in a meeting. And, yes, in case you were wondering, I was voted Most Involved in high school.
(look how cute 17 year old Connor was, aww mems)
I wanted my college experience to be different than the hectic 4 years that were high school, so I decided to put all my eggs in one basket, one big, fat Greek basket. I had brainwashed myself into believing that it was the Greek way or the highway. So I got a bid, put my letters in the center of my back car window, joined a committee, became an officer, heck I even outlined a five year planned based solely on three Greek letters. I had done it, I had found my passion. And to think all it took was a week of tennis skirts and tears, and a couple thousand dollars. I mean come on, the choice was EZ #iykyk Well fast forward to 2019 and I am currently in the market for a new basket of eggs. I didn’t lose my basket or drop it, cracking all the eggs in it; my basket got stolen *sips tea* but it’s fine, we are fine.
For the first time in my 19 years on this earth, I have no real extra curricular activities that take up all my time. I mean I am a member of a couple clubs and participate in RebelTHON and I have that Moodz & Vibez Designs thing going on, but nothing that keeps me up late at night practicing or planning for the next big event. I keep joking about the free time I am going to have on my hands next semester, but here’s the tea sis, I don’t want free time. Oh silly Connor, that’s an easy fix: just dive into those other clubs, start your own organization, join something new… The dilemma is that I have it engrained in my head that nothing is going to be able to fill the sorority sized void in my life. It’s not that I am scared, but like I’m scared ya know? I am scared that I am always going to compare everything to how Theta made me feel; because let me tell you, that house made me feel like I could conquer the world. And, I know that I am the only one who can control how I perceive the world, so this is certainly going to be a lesson in self-discovery.
I have not lost my passion to change the world, I am just struggling to find something new to put that passion behind. I know that all of this is part of some bigger plan and that eventually I will find that thing that makes me smile uncontrollably and get little butterflies in my stomach. It’s out there and if I know how things usually work, it is going to be in the most unexpected place. I have the opportunity to start fresh, a gift that not everyone gets. I am excited to see where my desire to change the world takes me this year.